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AN ODE TO GAIA: INTO THE THICK OF IT

“There’s not time to be bored in a world as beautiful as this”

Anonymous

The more that I take the time to venture forth onto the Open Road, the more in awe I am of everything that surrounds me. An explosion of colors, sights, sounds. Everything good on this precious earth. This is my ode to her:

Driving along the tucked away roads of the Garden Route, taking it all in. When you are in the thick of it. Enshrouded in various shades of green. Embraced wholly by Gaia, the ever-loving earth mother. When you are nestled in her comforting arms. How is one supposed to describe that feeling? Unexplainable. Indescribable. An ancient and primal ache deep in the core. In the heart. In the eyes. Looking out in awe at this vast and unbelievably wonderful world. Being amongst the forests, the woods, the deserts, the beaches, the mountains. Going out into those immensely powerful places, hiding away from the smoke and the cement of human civilization, something happens to you. Everything significant and meaningful and fantastically familiar within you comes alive. You are feeling, truly feeling. You are coming home.

Day 9: Hedonism

“You’ll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to”

-Woody Allen

Where does the mind go when our brains are busy pursuing a hedonism so vile and sweet that the only escape is autopilot?

Does it venture back into the heart to protect it from its own transgressions? Does it look for solace in that pumping vesicle…

As we try and seek excitement with drowning and drifting, and lifting our hands in the air, swaying our hips to the tune of “what is good enough?”

We are obsessed with the sound of the chop, chop, chop. Breathe.

We wish we knew where we were needed when we are not needed here. When do we go when its apparent that we aren’t needed now? How do we go? How?

Day 8 in the journey of Human: Apologies to the woman I was.

“I raise up my voice—not so I can shout, but so that those without a voice can be heard…we cannot succeed when half of us are held back.”

―Malala Yousafzai

Another one bites the dust. A potential companion swept under the rug by their own hand and their own broom.

What do I do?

What do I say?

What do I radiate that makes me not fit?

Some may say I am not pretty enough. At least not under this makeup.

Some may say I am not thin enough. At least not under these clothes.

Some may say I am too intense. When I haven’t taken my meds

Some may say I am too strong-willed. When I speak unashamedly.

Perhaps I am simply too loud.

How long have I been numb to my own insecurities? How long have I been bowing down to the pressure of ‘not good enough?’

Too long. Too long.

I am here. I am breathing.

My body is unique. It has marks, and bumps, and bruises, but there is no ONE like mine. My gift.

My voice is strong. My laughter fills up the room and reminds those around me that I choose happiness. My gift.

My emotions bring me colour. I have looked in the mirror and asked myself if I feel too much. I feel just the right amount. The question becomes acceptance, becomes love. My gift.

From this day forth I don’t apologize for the gifts I have been given, not even to myself.

I simply pass my gifts to others.

 

Day 5 in the journey of Human: Feeling with the eyes, seeing with the skin.

‘The seer, the sight and the seen have no existence from each other. It is like a great musician becoming one with his instrument and the music that comes from it.”

-B.K.S. Iyengar

Moments flow, grow, fluctuate. One moment I am in total bliss, and the next in indescribable discomfort. Indescribable because it is significant. Emotionally. Spiritually. This notion and action of doing nothing.

Where on earth does the mind not go? Go to not? Go to not! Go to nothing…

Progress happens outside of one’s comfort zone. The night previous was spent with a fellow Human, preparing food for sustenance. Smoking and discussing to prepare for what was to come. The superb power of successful and selfless touch. The touch skin and also of the eyes. How does one express their love if not through unconditional touch. One discards their vulnerability to address another’s. Gaze. Gaze unto, into. It would be a shame if he understood not.

‘I don’t know how to tell you                                                                                                       What I know                                                                                                                                            All I can offer is my fingertips”

I rest my head upon shoulder. Undoubtedly human.