healing – Wild Water and Wanderlust

AN ODE TO GAIA: INTO THE THICK OF IT

“There’s not time to be bored in a world as beautiful as this”
Anonymous

The more that I take the time to venture forth onto the Open Road, the more in awe I am of everything that surrounds me. An explosion of colors, sights, sounds. Everything good on this precious earth. This is my ode to her:

Driving along the tucked away roads of the Garden Route, taking it all in. When you are in the thick of it. Enshrouded in various shades of green. Embraced wholly by Gaia, the ever-loving earth mother. When you are nestled in her comforting arms. How is one supposed to describe that feeling? Unexplainable. Indescribable. An ancient and primal ache deep in the core. In the heart. In the eyes. Looking out in awe at this vast and unbelievably wonderful world. Being amongst the forests, the woods, the deserts, the beaches, the mountains. Going out into those immensely powerful places, hiding away from the smoke and the cement of human civilization, something happens to you. Everything significant and meaningful and fantastically familiar within you comes alive. You are feeling, truly feeling. You are coming home.

A FRESH START: A LOVE AFFAIR WITH THE OPEN ROAD

“The world is big and I want to have a good look at it before it gets dark”
John Muir

After four years of a subtle but intense bout of writers block, it took a global pandemic to kick me in the proverbial backside and put fingers upon keyboard, and heart back into words

As of late, taking to the open road has started to become second nature to me. It is in those times of solitude amongst scenes of exquisite and surreal beauty that I have started to find a sense of connection that has always been lacking amongst the hedonistic hustle and bustle of the city, amongst instant gratification and empty promises. Towards the sea, towards the mountains, towards the trees, towards new places, new people, new experiences. Towards all the lakes, rivers, puddles I can get my tail in. Towards myself. I venture forward and relate back.

Here is a young mermaid’s Love Affair with the Open Road

Day 8 in the journey of Human: Apologies to the woman I was.

“I raise up my voice—not so I can shout, but so that those without a voice can be heard…we cannot succeed when half of us are held back.”

―Malala Yousafzai

Another one bites the dust. A potential companion swept under the rug by their own hand and their own broom.

What do I do?

What do I say?

What do I radiate that makes me not fit?

Some may say I am not pretty enough. At least not under this makeup.

Some may say I am not thin enough. At least not under these clothes.

Some may say I am too intense. When I haven’t taken my meds

Some may say I am too strong-willed. When I speak unashamedly.

Perhaps I am simply too loud.

How long have I been numb to my own insecurities? How long have I been bowing down to the pressure of ‘not good enough?’

Too long. Too long.

I am here. I am breathing.

My body is unique. It has marks, and bumps, and bruises, but there is no ONE like mine. My gift.

My voice is strong. My laughter fills up the room and reminds those around me that I choose happiness. My gift.

My emotions bring me colour. I have looked in the mirror and asked myself if I feel too much. I feel just the right amount. The question becomes acceptance, becomes love. My gift.

From this day forth I don’t apologize for the gifts I have been given, not even to myself.

I simply pass my gifts to others.

Day 5 in the journey of Human: Feeling with the eyes, seeing with the skin.

‘The seer, the sight and the seen have no existence from each other. It is like a great musician becoming one with his instrument and the music that comes from it.”

-B.K.S. Iyengar

Moments flow, grow, fluctuate. One moment I am in total bliss, and the next in indescribable discomfort. Indescribable because it is significant. Emotionally. Spiritually. This notion and action of doing nothing.

Where on earth does the mind not go? Go to not? Go to not! Go to nothing…

Progress happens outside of one’s comfort zone. The night previous was spent with a fellow Human, preparing food for sustenance. Smoking and discussing to prepare for what was to come. The superb power of successful and selfless touch. The touch skin and also of the eyes. How does one express their love if not through unconditional touch. One discards their vulnerability to address another’s. Gaze. Gaze unto, into. It would be a shame if he understood not.

‘I don’t know how to tell you What I know All I can offer is my fingertips”

I rest my head upon shoulder. Undoubtedly human.

Day 2 in the journey of Human: Loss, friendship, and other obstacles.

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.”

–Wahington Irving

I am Human. I am a human being on a path. Healing path. A path with streams and puddles, ponds, and lakes. Bodies of water that are going to wash away the dirt on my tired, tired, tired heart. The heart is a metaphor for the centre of deepest emotion. The place where love culminates, and pain pumps hard. Weary heart pumps and pumps. Pain filling up the throbbing veins. Making them heavy, weighing down muscles, pressing painful against bones. Many tears have been shed, as many perhaps as that proverbial liquid. Love is rushing and pumping too.

My heart is exploding . My pain teaches me much. Abandonment teaches us that before seeking love from others, we must do so from ourselves. Friends passed on remind us to cherish the living. Family is a gift, and unconditional love is a rare and priceless blessing. Boiling hot pain in the veins can be transformed into the purest love by power of highest alchemy. Full of pain, full of love. Human.